Out of the kitchen--interview tips for moms
? 2006 Karen Southall Watts
In 2005 when two Cornell University researchers presented a paper entitled Getting a Job: Is There a Motherhood Penalty? the working moms of America collectively rolled our eyes and said, well, duh! The paper itself is well researched and an excellent presentation of facts, behaviors and trends that confirms that inner queasy feeling you get when you look for a job or a promotion. However, until corporate America's conscience catches up to the research, moms still need to be extra prepared when it comes to job interviews. Here are some tips to help you fight for, and hopefully win that next job, promotion or project contract.
1. Don't mention your spouse, or your painful/joyful lack thereof: Interviews almost always begin with the same type of introductory questions; tell me about yourself, what brings you to this area, why are you interested in this company, etc. This is the time to introduce and define yourself as a professional, a potential employee, not a wife, mother, divorcee or widow. Seeing a married male candidate makes interviewers think of stability. Your wedding ring screams here's a woman with obligations that can and will trump her dedication to us--the employer. Consider leaving your wedding ring at home for initial interviews and cover the telltale line with a fashion ring.
2. Learn to redirect: While you don't want to advertise your marital or parental status you should never lie during an interview. Although you may not intend for a conversation to veer toward the problems of soccer carpools and spaghetti stains, we all get caught off guard. Answer direct questions about your family life briefly and then redirect the conversation to the job matter at hand. For example, you might follow a question like, Are your kids in the marching band? with Yes, they enjoy it very much. Now, can you tell me how this department interfaces with the rest of the company? Practice with a friend and see how quickly and politely you can refocus your conversation onto the job description, company mission or project timeline.
3. Avoid mommyisms: In business we often boil complex ideas down to simple examples. It's common to hear talk of teamwork and sports analogies from executives. As you enter the game of business plain speak there are a few things to keep in mind. Personal stories are great for illustrating concepts, but they should be brief, not include intimate details and truly relate to the point at hand. You should avoid referring to employee discipline as time-out or any other conversational cues that make employees sound like children. No matter how accurate the comparison may be, don't describe office situations in terms of cartoons or children's fictional characters. An interview is the time for you to demonstrate how you fit into the professional world. Keep your conversation on topic and out of the playground.
4. Don't seek friendship: Weeks, months or years at home with only your children for company can make you desperate for adult conversation. Don't let this show in your interview. Even if you haven't had a day free of cartoons, diapers or tantrums for a long time, don't gush all over your interviewer. This can be especially hard when you feel you connect with someone during an interview--another working mom, as evidenced by photos on the desk, is pleasantly talking to you about your potential to do something other than dishes or laundry. Be careful. Many offices have unspoken rules that will tolerate only one mom on staff. If the interviewer or your potential supervisor has her own children, she may be more interested in protecting her own hard earned right to flex-time or coworker acceptance than championing yours.
5. Look the part: We are drowning in make over tips in this country. No woman needs to be told that there is an entire industry to help her look younger, thinner, sexier and more like the television ideal. Skip all that and go for practical. Looking tired is the main side effect of motherhood. To look like the vital, energetic and capable employee that employers want, you must do whatever you can to get enough rest and exercise. Make sure your interview clothes are updated--not trendy--but a classic business look that does not instantly date you. If your professional wardrobe loudly announces the exact year that you stopped working to have kids, you need to rework it. Keep make-up and hairstyles simple and natural.
The sad truth is that while scholars and researches search for the evidence that the label mother translates into discrimination in the job search process, we still have to go on working with the system as it exists today. Networking with other working moms, either in person or in cyberspace, can help you deal with the anger we all feel at some time. Talking with friends before an interview gives you the chance to vent about the feeling of unfairness in the status quo. It also provides you with the opportunity to practice your business conversation skills before the interview. Practicing the tips above can help you to keep the focus on your professional contribution and not your status as a mother. Until we change the system from the inside out, preparation is your best weapon against he motherhood penalty.
About the Author
Karen Southall Watts is a business trainer specializing in entrepreneurship, ethics and leadership. Workshops and individual coaching available. Go to www.corporatequeencoaching.com
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